Scammers now send fake texts and emails by the thousands, and they design them to look exactly like the messages your parent already gets — a bank alert, a package on its way, a note from Medicare. The good news is that nearly every scam gives itself away if you know the three or four signs to look for. This guide walks through those signs plainly, so you or your mom or dad can pause and check before anything goes wrong.
What a scam message is really trying to do
A scam text or email has one goal: get you to act fast, before you think. It might want a password, a bank login, a Social Security number, a gift card code, or a payment. To get there, it leans on emotion — fear that an account is frozen, worry that a grandchild is in jail, or excitement about a prize. Understanding that pattern is more useful than memorizing any single scam, because the wording changes constantly but the trick underneath stays the same.
Legitimate companies do send texts and emails. So the question is never 'is this a text?' — it's 'is this text trying to rush me into giving something up?' That single reframe catches most scams.
The warning signs to look for
Teach your parent to scan for these before touching a link or replying. If even one shows up, treat the message as suspicious until proven otherwise.
- Urgency or threats — 'Your account will be suspended in 24 hours,' 'Final notice,' 'Immediate action required.' Real institutions give you time.
- A request for something private — password, PIN, Social Security number, a verification code that was just texted to you. No real bank or agency asks for these by text or email.
- Payment by odd methods — gift cards, wire transfers, cryptocurrency, or payment apps. This is almost always a scam.
- A link or attachment you weren't expecting, especially a shortened or misspelled web address.
- A greeting that's generic ('Dear Customer') or a sender address that's slightly off (amaz0n-support.com, irs-refund.net).
- Poor spelling, odd grammar, or a logo that looks a little wrong.
- A phone number in the message asking you to call it — scammers control that number and will pose as your bank.
Real message vs scam message: how to tell them apart
The scams that target seniors most
A few show up again and again. Knowing them by name makes them easier to shrug off.
- The 'grandchild in trouble' message — a text or call claiming a grandchild is arrested or hurt and needs money quietly. Always call the family member directly to check.
- The bank fraud alert — 'Did you make a $500 purchase? Reply NO,' followed by a call from 'the fraud department' asking you to move money to a 'safe account.' Real banks never ask you to move money.
- The package delivery text — a fake USPS, UPS, or FedEx notice about a stuck package needing a small fee or your address.
- The Medicare or Social Security scam — threats about benefits being cut off unless you confirm your number. These agencies contact you by mail, not surprise texts.
- The tech support pop-up — a message saying your computer is infected, with a number to call. Never call it.
- The prize or lottery win — you can't win a lottery you never entered, and real prizes never require a fee upfront.
What to do if the message already got a response
Mistakes happen, and shame keeps people quiet — which is exactly what scammers count on. If your parent clicked a link or shared something, act calmly and quickly.
- 1Stop all contact with the sender — no more replies, no calling back.
- 2Call the real bank or card company using the number on the card, and tell them what happened.
- 3Change passwords for any account that was shared, starting with email and banking.
- 4If money moved, ask the bank about reversing it — sometimes fast action helps.
- 5Report it to the FTC at ReportFraud.ftc.gov, which is the official U.S. reporting site.
- 6Tell a family member — not to confess, but so they can help watch for follow-up scams, which often come in waves.
How to make this stick without nagging
A one-time lecture rarely helps. What works is keeping the topic normal and low-pressure. Once a week, ask your dad, 'Get any weird texts lately?' in the same tone you'd ask about the weather. Share one you got yourself — it turns it into a shared annoyance rather than a test of his judgment. Set a family rule everyone follows: any message asking for money or a code gets a phone call to a real family member first, no exceptions and no embarrassment.
For a parent who lives alone, that daily rhythm of talking to someone matters. A regular check-in gives them a natural moment to mention the odd message before they act on it. That's part of why some families use Call Mabel — a daily phone conversation where a suspicious text can come up casually — as a complement to family calls and real caregivers, not a replacement for either, and not a fraud-monitoring or emergency service.
- ✓Urgency plus a request for money, passwords, or codes equals a scam — almost every time.
- ✓Never use the number or link inside the message; verify with a trusted number you already have.
- ✓No real bank, Medicare, or agency asks for gift cards or account codes.
- ✓If a mistake happens, act fast and skip the shame — call the bank and report it at ReportFraud.ftc.gov.
- ✓Keep the conversation regular and friendly so your parent feels safe telling you about a strange message.